Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
