I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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