she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
