i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
