It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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