I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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