Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
