Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Randomize
