Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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