You made me cry and you don't even care
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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