oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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