Kiss
Puke
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
