Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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