So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
