Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
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We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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