Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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