If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
