it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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