I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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