My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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