Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
