Im at strip club and am horny
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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