Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
