12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
