But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it hurts more in the daytime
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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