And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
