Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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