Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
