are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
