OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
