ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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