I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
