Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
