dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
