God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
