Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
