Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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