Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
