So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
