Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
