Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
