I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
