Is it because I queefed?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
