I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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