i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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