dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
