O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
