your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
