She's JV to your varsity
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
