It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
