Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
