Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
