she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
