I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
