She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize