ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My hand turned me down
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
