ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
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