Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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