I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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