shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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