If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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