What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
