Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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